A Need and a Question

Joseph Smith's first prayer was a resounding success far beyond his humble expectations. In answer to his question about which church to join, the heavens opened, the Father and the Son appeared to the young man, and an entire new dispensation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ was initiated. Joseph learned much about the reality and nature of God in his first encounter with a heavenly manifestation, and he learned about the role he was to play in God's plan for the "last days," the Second Coming of Christ, and the Millennium. Nevertheless, Joseph still had much more to learn about many things, including about prayer.

in the three years after the First Vision, not much of spiritual import occurred in Joseph's life. He had told his story and garnered a fair amount of ridicule and persecution. He was now seventeen and wondering what he should do next. He certainly did not feel like a prophet, nor did he, in his own estimation, conduct himself like a messenger of God. His next lesson in prayer was about to burst upon him.

In consequence of these things, I often felt condemned for my weakness and imperfections; when, on the evening of the above-mentioned twenty-first of September, after I had retired to my bed for the night, I betook myself to prayer and supplication to Almighty God for forgiveness of all my sins and follies, and also for a manifestation to me, that I might know of my state and standing before him; for I had full confidence in obtaining a divine manifestation, as I previously had one.
--Joseph Smith - History 1:29


Joseph approached God with a need and a question. He knew he needed forgiveness for having given in many times to weakness and temptation. He felt he had not lived up to God's expectations of him following the supernal revelation of the First Vision. He had certainly not lived up to his own expectations. So, his need, acutely felt, was forgiveness.

We all have this need. Surely none of us live up to God's desires for us, and if we are striving to any degree to keep commandments and covenants, we are not meeting our own expectations. Whether we recognize and feel godly sorrow for our imperfections is determined by our humility and our attenuation to the Holy Spirit. If we are serious in our desires for discipleship, our imperfections will drive us to prayer, as they did Joseph.

Joseph's question was about his standing before God. He wanted to know, despite his mistakes, if he was still acceptable to God and if God still wanted to use him. Had he messed up so bad and procrastinated so long that God had turned away from him? Had he lost his chance to build a lasting relationship with God? This was not a passing curiosity. It was not just one of a hundred things Joseph thought about each day. It had become his primary focus, the question that vexed him the most. He needed to know more than anything else if he was lost or still salvageable.

If we are at all serious about our faith and spirituality, we are also vexed from time to time with a similar question. For all my efforts and despite all my failures, how am I doing? Am I at least on the right path and leaning in the right direction? Have I made so many mistakes that I am lost? Am I broken beyond repair? Have I made so many wrong turns that I can never reach the goal God set for me in the beginning? Have I wasted my life? That's a tough question for a seventeen-year-old. It is an excruciating question for a sixty-seven-year-old.

One other thing to note about this prayer experience of the young prophet-to-be: unlike his experience in the grove where he was alone and could speak out loud, he was not alone in his attic bedroom with his brothers sleeping peacefully next to him only inches away, and he could not pray vocally. He did not say whether he knelt by his bed or simply stretched out under his comfy quilt. Yet his heartfelt, silent prayer penetrated the heavens just as effectively as had his spoken prayer the years earlier.

He showed us that the form of prayer is not as important as the content and intention of our prayer, supported by our faith and confidence in God's ability to hear and answer. Joseph's narration indicated his expectation of an immediate response. Not that he may not have been willing to be patient, but he felt that an answer would be forthcoming. He humbly recognized sincerely his shortcomings and did not try to hide them. He desired to repent. He understood his need for forgiveness and grace. And he had a legitimate, burning question, the answer to which he was fully committed to obey. He seemingly had no other plan, no alternative strategy, no fallback position. He was willing to be all in if God still wanted him.

We can pray the same kind of prayer if we put in the same kind of preparation and exercise the same kind of faith. Vocal or silent, alone in a lovely grove or surrounded by a crowd, if our heart is right, if we are humble, if we are willing to confess our faults and truly want to change, if we will accept God's grace and stop trying to save ourselves, if we bring to God our most burning, fundamental question, and if we cry to Him with the full intention of accepting and obeying whatever His answer for us is--if we are all in with our faith and hope--God will hear and answer. Immediately. Instantly. Unequivocally. Directly. Unmistakably. And to our totally satisfaction. We will know what we need to know. It is up to us, then, to act on that knowledge.